How a Resurrection Really Feels
by oranges and cigarettes
Summary: CC "You look up and he looks down and you’re close enough to feel his breath against you and smell his cologne, closer than you’d been since midterms." A chance encounter between Casey and Cappie that changes everything and has nothing to do with the song
1. Casey

**How a Resurrection Really Feels**

**I rouse rabble**

**Author's Notes:** This started off as a one-shot, but it grew. So here it is. It'll probably have five chapters, all of them told in the second person present, but through the point of views of Casey, Cappie, and Rebecca. There's a lot more thinking and talking than there is action, but I hope you guys like it anyways.

**Disclaimer**: The characters in this fic, and all of the situations that seem familiar to you guys belong to whoever owns Greek. Any song references I make (like in the title of the fic) belong to the artist/band/record label/whatever.

* * *

It all starts on a Thursday night. It's late and it's dark out, but you're so stressed with finals and ZBZ presidency bullshit that you need to go for a run. The streets are empty and quiet, and with your headphones in your ears, it's easy to imagine that you're the only person on the planet, and you like that. You love CRU and the ZBZ girls and your friends, but it's nice to be alone sometimes, you think. Even so, when you see a familiar silhouette on the quad, you turn towards it.

"Hey." Your greeting startles Cappie until he looks up and sees you.

"Why, Casey Cartwright, what brings you out here on this fine, fine evening?"

You think it should be obvious and roll your eyes. "Moonlight interpretive dance, can't you tell?" You say it sarcastically, but you can't help a smile from crossing your face. "You?"

"Oh, my radar was going off like crazy."

"Radar?"

He leans in a little. "My dance-dar, of course. Something told me you'd be out here tonight and I just had to come see it. Now how about a little demonstration?"

You can tell that he expects another sarcastic reply, and to be honest that's what you'd normally do, so you're both surprised when you do a silly little twirl and end up falling onto the grass. You're not sure why you're acting like this, except that the run helped clear your mind from the stress and that cheers you up, and being around Cappie is putting you in a playful mood again, one that you've kept at bay for two years. "No, but really, why are you out here?"

He sits down next to you, a little bit closer than two platonic friends would, and that pleases you. It also frustrates the crap out of you that you still notice that, and that it made you happy. "Eh, it was boring at the house. The brothers are all cramming for finals to make sure they won't get kicked out. I got bored and took a walk."

You're a little surprised by his explanation. "I never would have thought to run into you sober on a Thursday night."

"I'm constantly full of surprises, although…" he trails off and pulls a flask out of his pocket. "Drink with me."

"And here I thought you were getting so much more mature." Even so, you accept the flask, coughing a little as the whiskey hits your throat.

"Hey, now, I'm way better now than I was when you first met me. I like to learn from my mistakes." His eyes meet yours for a long moment before clearing his throat and looking away, and your mind goes back to seeing him at the ZBZ house before the Greek Ball. For one wild second, you had thought that was there for you, to make up for two years ago, until Rebecca Logan came down the stairs, and you realized. Cappie really is trying, you have to admit, and you tell him so. "How are you and Rebecca doing, anyway?"

"We're good. Usually. Sometimes I have to bring her back down to Earth though. She went nuts over the whole Mr. Purr-fect thing. Drove my brothers crazy."

"They don't like her?" Deep down you're happy about this. You hate Rebecca and don't want anyone to like her. Even deeper down, you can't help but being smugly satisfied that the KT boys always liked you, and you can't help but feeling like that makes you a much better girlfriend than Rebecca.

"Oh, she won them over eventually. She appealed to their deeper souls."

"What?"

"Bought them pizza."

"That's good then, that they like her. Otherwise, it would really suck for you." You're rambling awkwardly, you can tell, and you hate it.

He shrugs again, in that easy, relaxed way that only he could really pull off. "Wouldn't matter. I like her, that's all that matters."

Another look passes between you two and this time you look away because this time it's reminding you of how you let Cappie go. There was so much history and bullshit between you that didn't need to be there, if you'd both just tried a little harder.

You lie back so you're staring at the stars and he lies back with you. You're not touching but you're close enough to feel the heat radiating off of his body and you like that.

"Cappie?" You're hesitant to ask the question because you don't want to hear the answer, but you need to know. "Do you think that… do you think that if I'd stood up to Frannie and the ZBZ girls, that we'd still be together?"

He sits up a little bit, leaning on his elbows so he can look at you. "I wasn't ready for you back then, Casey. I was too caught up in my KT boys and drinking and partying to be the guy you wanted me to be. I'm not saying that you dumping me because they told you to was a good idea, cause it sucked and was the cowards way out, but we had problems before then anyway. Eventually, you would've gotten tired of my shit."

Even though his answer absolves you of some of the responsibility of the breakup, it stings. You want to believe you could have made it.

A long silence passes between you until you can't take it anymore. "I'm glad things are working out so well with you and Rebecca, then." The thought crosses through your mind unbidden – _it should be me._

"Well, losing you was bad enough. I didn't want to feel like that again." Cappie's voice was serious and intense. You'd only heard him use that tone once before, the day he said he saw you two together in ten years. It never seems finished with the two of you. You still feel something more for Cappie, and you haven't felt that with Evan since that morning you showed up at the Omega Chi house. But even after you told yourself you were done with Cappie, you weren't. You're not done with someone when you'd rather sleep with a 16 year-old than see your ex with another girl.

Sitting here under the stars, you start to think that maybe you and Cappie are finally ready for each other. He's certainly changed and you like to think that you have, too. You're a lot tougher now; you won't give in to the ZBZ girls ever again. You actually think that maybe you've changed too much and you need Cappie to bring you back. He's more mature than he was freshman year, but he's still Cappie, and you think maybe you need to protest protests again, or sit in bed and eat pie all day, because you're a lot less relaxed than you used to be and you miss it. And him.

You wonder if he still misses you, deep down, if the looks he gave you meant anything or if you were just imagining it, and you decide it's time to be brave. You shift slightly closer, until your bodies are touching and your head is resting next to his shoulder

"Cappie… I think I miss you. I think I need you in my life again." You look up and he looks down and you're close enough to feel his breath against you and smell his cologne, closer than you'd been since midterms. He leans down a little and your lips meet and as you kiss, you feel more settled than you had in a long while. He tastes like the whiskey but it's surprisingly sweet and you think that you'll think of him whenever you drink it.

The kiss felt better, a million times better, than cuddling with Evan after the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell Party." This was how it felt to come back home; this was how it felt to start something again. Getting back together with Evan was nice, and he was sweet and genuinely meant well and made you happy, but kissing Cappie felt like felt like something really amazing as starting again. But the thought of Evan reminds you of Rebecca and you pull back because you refuse to be that girl; you hated Rebecca for doing it to you and you weren't going to be that kind of hypocrite.

"Cappie, we can't. You have a girlfriend."

He looks at you, slightly dazed.

"Rebecca?" You reminded him, smiling in spite of yourself.

And then the realization comes crashing down on him and he scoots away from you a little bit.

"I'm gonna head back to the house," you say, needing to leave the situation before you lose your will power and jump him, Rebecca be damned. You wave off his offer to walk you and as you run back home, you think you should feel bad that you kissed a boy dating another girl, or that Cappie still wasn't yours, but you don't. Because you realized today that you made the right decision letting Evan go, and you know that you and Cappie will find your way back to each other soon, and for now that's enough.


	2. Cappie

**How a Resurrection Really Feels  
Author: I rouse rabble  
Author's Notes: **Here's chapter two! Thank you to my reviews and everyone who put me on story alert; it's thanks to you that I made this into a chaptered fic.  
**Disclaimer:** Last chapter's disclaimer still applies.

* * *

After Casey leaves you lie back on the grass and stare at the stars for a long, long time. It's past midnight and the campus is dead, at least around you, and you wish you had a joint. You don't smoke too much anymore; you cut back towards the end of Freshman year since Casey didn't like it, and you'd all but stopped once you lost her – or thought you lost her, given tonight's events – and decided that a few changes were in order.

But tonight made your head spin. And there was nothing around to bounce your thoughts off of, just you and an endless sky. And you think maybe some pot would steady your nerves and your mind, but you've got nothing. So you walk home, chewing on a blade of grass, and settle down for a sleepless night.

It seems like hours before it's an acceptable time to call Rusty, and realistically, seven in the morning isn't a reasonable hour, but you'd been mulling this shit over in your head all night. So you make him meet you for coffee, thankful he's still a pledge and can't really refuse anything you ask of him. Really, dude dressed in drag. More than once. In public. And in front of his parents. Damn.

You don't bother with pleasantries after you sit down. "I ran into your sister last night."

Before you started talk, he was half-asleep, resting his head on his hand. But at your words, he sits up straight and wakes up a little. "And?"

"I don't know man, I don't get her. It's like, we're going along and she wants to start over as friends and throwing Prohibition parties together. Which was total BS then, and she ended up hooking up with that prick from the pound after hanging out with me and Rebecca-" at this Rusty grimaces slightly, and you don't blame him, because who wants to think about their sister hooking up with someone? "Sorry. But after the Ball, she seemed a lot more normal. Like she actually wanted to be friends. Like she was done with me the same time she was done with Chambers."

"So what happened last night?" Rusty seems eager to get to the point, and you figure you would too if you were listening to some lovesick loser ramble on at seven in the morning.

"So she's going for a run last night and she runs into me in the quad, and at first it seems normal, you know? Talking, having whiskey, whatever. But then we started saying all these loaded, heavy things, and she asks me if we'd still be together if it weren't for the girls at ZBZ." You shake your head, as if it to knock the thoughts from last night out, or at least around so they made more sense in your mind. How did this even happen?

"Would you?" Rusty's fully awake now, finally starting to understand that last night was really weird. You can tell he's expecting you to say yes, that it really was the fault of those bossy shrews and you wonder if you're the only one, except for Chambers, that saw past your own bullshit and realized that you really were kind of a prick back then.

"No, and I told her so. I was a shitty boyfriend back then, Spitter. She seemed kinda bummed by it though. Like she was hoping to blame the whole thing on her sorority BS. And then she said she was glad Rebecca and I were so happy together, and I told her it was cause I couldn't take the pain of losing someone like I lost her and then she shifts closer to me, or maybe I moved closer to her, I dunno, and tells me she misses me and I kiss her."

"You _what?!_" Spitter wasn't really yelling, but his voice carries across the semi-deserted campus anyway, and you duck down a little, even though no one knows what you're talking about, and everyone knows Rusty's kind of a spazz.

"And then, she pulls back cause of Rebecca, and I swear to God I couldn't remember who Rebecca was for a second."

Rusty smirks slightly at that, and you have to admit it's kind of funny and then you and Rusty are both laughing, probably a little too loud and a little too long, but who really cares?

"So what're you gonna do about Rebecca?"

"I dunno, Spitter. Rebecca's a lot cooler than most people give her credit for. It's not even just that she's hot, cause a lot of girls are hot. But she's kinda feisty." You meet Rusty's eyes and you can tell that he's thinking that feisty was a mild understatement for the amount of raging bitch she had in her. "Alright, she can be a huge bitch, but she's pretty easy to bring back down to Earth, and she did buy all of you guys pizza."

"Doesn't make you any less whipped."

"Hey, you're the one scheduling her bikini waxes." You feel yourself getting a little defensive, because you want your friends to like your girlfriend, and also because he might have a point.

"On your orders. Look, it doesn't matter if I like Rebecca, even though I don't, and it doesn't matter if the guys like her, cause they don't. Except for maybe Beaver. Do you like her?"

"Of course."

"More than Casey?" You don't have an answer, and he presses further. "If the ZBZ house was burning down and you could only save one, who would it be?"

You're silent for a while, and you start to realize that Rusty isn't gonna solve this one for you. It isn't a fucking physics problem, and really, he's had one girlfriend, whose name is still said like a curse word among the frats and sororities, and he wasn't even all that close with Casey before college. You're gonna have to figure this out on your own, you realize. "You can go back to bed, Spitter, I'll see you later."

Burning building, whom would you save? Rebecca or Casey? Rebecca is surprisingly awesome, like you just told Rusty. She's smart and tough and kinda a badass, which you like. And you've noticed yourself doing things that freshman year Casey would never have done in a million years. Freaking out over meeting the parents? Showing up in a new suit to go the Ball? And so you know she means something to you, because you wouldn't do it for just any girl. But you never would have done that if it wasn't the sort of thing that made you lose Casey, and that's a big deal. If it weren't for her, you'd probably be a shitty boyfriend to Rebecca, too. Hell, you might have never even gotten the chance to be with Rebecca.

And then there's Casey, who's pretty surprising, too, though not always in a good way. She has the knack for waiting for you to finally start to be over her before she pulls you back in. She's like the mob or something. But you always let yourself be pulled, and maybe there's a reason for that. She was your first love, and except for Rebecca, the only girl you every cared about. And what you feel for Rebecca now isn't even close to what you felt for Casey then, though it's tough to admit. Maybe there was a reason you could never let each other go. You did bribe a TA to work with her while she was still dating Chambers, so maybe you don't really have room to talk about her never letting you go. Casey is still the only girl you ever imagined a future with. In ten years, Rebecca Logan will be on the arm of some rich businessman, or something like that. Not an asshole like her dad, just a good guy with more power than you'll ever have, or want for that matter. That's the thing- Rebecca wants power that you'll never care for.

But where will Casey be? And where will you?

If you were running into the fire, who would you be looking for?


	3. Rebecca

**How a Resurrection Really Feels  
I rouse rabble  
Author's Notes: **Chapter Three is here! Enjoy a little taste of Rebecca's point of view, and hopefully the difference between "Rebecca Logan," whom she has to be, and who she actually is. Oh, and props to Lila2, who wins the Best Reviewer Award.  
**Disclaimer:** Yet again, I own only the situations.

* * *

Tonight will be amazing, you decide. How do you know? Because as Cappie once said, you're Rebecca Freakin' Logan, and what you say, goes. No one says no to you (just ask Evan Chambers), and nothing will stop you from getting your way. Tonight, the ZBZ girls have finally decided to grace a Kappa Tau party with their presence, if only because the Omega Chi boys were on some trip to meet a Big Shot Alumnus in Cincinnati. It doesn't matter _why_ the ZBZs are going to the KT house, as long as they are. You haven't seen much of Cappie lately, because finals are coming up, and Rebecca Logan doesn't get bad grades, and despite what you said to Casey, a 3.0 isn't good enough, so you've been living in the library for the last two weeks. And he's been busy with KT, you think, or something like that because he hasn't been calling you as much. But you've only got one exam left, and it's a joke of a class anyways and so you're ready to party tonight. And deep down, even if you don't want to admit it to yourself, you know that if Casey and Cappie and copious amounts of alcohol are all going to be in one place, you sure as hell will be there too. You trust Cappie, you really do, even around those skanky TriPis, but everyone knows it's different with Casey Cartwright. It's always different with Casey Fuckin' Cartwright.

You take a few deep, calming breaths and count to ten. You have Cappie. He cares about you, not Casey. He wants you, not Casey. And then you get back down to business. You find a red dress, slightly slutty because you are going to the KT house after all, but not too slutty because you chose ZBZ over TriPi for a reason and it wasn't just the private bedroom. You're running around the house looking for your earring when you run smack dab into Casey herself.

"Oh, hey, Becks." You really hate that nickname, because she's the only person other than Cappie who uses it, and that's not acceptable. "Cute shirt, really. It's a bold choice walking into the KT house without jeans or a skirt or you know, _anything_, but you almost pull it off."

You know your dress isn't _that_ short. "Why, thanks, Case." She stiffens a little bit, you notice with satisfaction, because only people like Rusty and Cappie get away with calling her that. "You look cute, too. Hey, if your skirt shrinks in the wash, lemme know. I'd love to borrow it if I could fit into it." You're satisfied you got the upper hand because slutty is one thing but fat is quite another, and you flounce back upstairs, earring forgotten.

* * *

All of the parties at the KT house are still in the basement to avoid getting caught, so the house is eerily quiet and empty when you get there. You'd pre-gamed a little bit with the girls before walking over, so you're a little less graceful (Rebecca Logan is never clumsy or belligerent or "that girl" at parties) than usual as you walk down the stairs, but nothing too obscene. You're not drunk, you're just happy.

You see Cappie as soon as you walk in, but he's having a conversation with Rusty and it looks serious. _Probably trying to get the little geek laid again_, you think, but it's sort of charming how innocent Rusty is. In a pathetic way. You wave to Cappie and head over to the cooler to get a drink, taking care to step over an already obliterated Beaver along the way. You search your brain for another word to describe the KT boys, having already used up pathetic on Rusty, but you can't think of one more fitting. Drunk and stupid and stoned, they don't care about anything except for the next party and how to get into some drunken girl's pants. Cappie's different though. Oh, he drinks with the rest of them more than you'd like him too, but he usually holds it better than they do. He may not be the most ambitious guy around and the part of you that isn't primarily concerned with not being what your father wants you to be wishes he had a plan or a goal, but he's certainly smarter than the rest of those apes put together. Except for Rusty, but he's got his own laundry list of problems. And Cappie may have been with a few girls, but you have no doubt that he actually cares about you, that he doesn't think of you as a piece of ass. He doesn't think of you as Senator Logan's daughter, either, like half of the ZBZ girls you call your "sisters." You're just Rebecca, and you've never been that before, and you quite like it.

You're happy to see him making his way towards you, carefully maneuvering through sweaty couples throwing themselves at each other. You step forward to greet him, barely restraining yourself from jumping into his arms. You attribute his less-than-happy expression on the puddle of questionable liquid he just stepped in and move to give him a kiss. Looking back on it, you should have realized you were in trouble when you didn't smell alcohol on his breath. But stupid you, you thought maybe he was waiting for you to start drinking and you were actually touched by the gesture. Pathetic.

He says something to you but you can't hear it over the band playing its tired old tracks again, and so he leads you upstairs to his bedroom. Your ears are buzzing from the sudden shift of loud, pounding music to the silence of the upstairs. Still, you can't stop the smirk from crossing your face as you bounce slightly on his bed. "Couldn't wait, could you, Cappie?"

He's pacing back in forth in front of you and that's when you look at him, really look at him. "Cappie? What's wrong?"

He stops suddenly, staring at you and ruffling the back of his hair, like he always does when he's nervous and doesn't know what to say, which is rare for him. That's when you start to get concerned. "Tell me right now, Cappie, what's going on?"

He shoves both his hands in his pockets and looks down at his feet. "I think we need to break up."

Just like that, everything changes. Your hands, which had been fidgeting with a loose thread on Cappie's sheets, still. For the first time you can ever remember, you need to concentrate on breathing. You look into his eyes, searching for anything that would tell you that this is some sick joke, but all you can see is a mixture of regret and relief. You struggle to say something, anything, but all you can get out is one strangled word. "What?"

"It's not you," he begins, but you interrupt him before he can finish his sentence.

"If you say, 'it's not you, it's me,' I swear to God, Cappie, I will smack you."

"It's not you. It's not even me, exactly. Or, it is me, but it's something I can't control."

And then you know what's going on, just as surely as you knew when your father cheated on your mother. "It's Casey Cartwright."

He says nothing, but he doesn't deny it, and that's enough for you.

"I should have known. I should have known from the second you gave me that money to give to her. I should have known when you refused to take sides between us- who's neutral between an ex girlfriend and a current girl friend? God. I should have known from the bra I found in your closet – she had her initials on the tag!" That had annoyed you even then, like who was going to take her bra and think it was theirs?

"Look, Rebecca-"

You don't want to hear any of Cappie's explanations and so you continue on, shouting over anything he has to say, thankful that party is two floors below you and no one can hear. "What is it about her? I though you were finally over her, finally ready to start something different?" He opens his mouth again, but you're not done. "I thought I was enough for you! I know I'm not Casey Cartwright, but I thought you didn't need her anymore." You'd been getting quieter the more you talked, as it sunk in that the one person you met on campus who didn't need you to be Senator Logan's daughter was picking someone else.

"It's not just that, Rebecca. It's everything. You're mean to the KT guys- you treat them like they don't matter. They're my brothers, Rebecca. That means something."

"Because they're lazy, and stupid, and drunk." You always thought Cappie could do better than them. You didn't want him to be like Evan, but you knew he could be more than what he was around them.

"That doesn't matter. They're my entire family. And it's not just that. We're different people. What do you want out of this relationship? Where do you see it going?"

"Well, I certainly didn't see us breaking up tonight." You cross your arms and look away, staring out the window to avoid looking at him. "I saw us having fun together, until…"

"Until what?"

"Until we broke up? I don't know, Cap. I don't want this to be over tonight, but I didn't see forever with you."

"I didn't see forever with you either. Look, I get where you're coming from. You don't want to be dating the guy you're going to be with for the rest of your life right now. I don't know why any freshman would."

"If you're going to blame this on age difference," you start, but this time cuts you off.

"It's not that- it's just, there's so much else to experience when you're a freshman. Why tie yourself down like that when you're just starting? But I'm okay with finding my future whatever, if I'm with the right person. And if you're not, then I'm not your right person. I can tell eventually you'll want more than I'm willing to give." And he was right. Cappie had been the more serious one about this relationship, a fact that would probably stun most of the ZBZ girls.

"Fine. I'm not what you want. You think Casey is? That she won't leave you again when Frannie lets it slip that no one will want her as President if she's dating you?" You can't believe he's willing to put himself in that position again. You and Casey are probably the only people on campus, outside of the KTs, that know how bad Casey had hurt Cappie.

"I don't know. She's stronger now. I can tell. She put you guys in your place over Spirit Week. And even if she's not, even if she can't handle their disapproval, I don't care. I've never been able to get over her. Being with you was the closest I ever got, and two weeks ago, I started to realize I might never. I have to risk it, because being with her is the only constant I know. She's the only constant I want." You look at him and you know it's true, that there's nothing you can say that will make him change his mind, even if you think he's making a colossal mistake.

"Fine. Whatever. I'm out of here." And you're out the door before he can stop you. Cappie's not yours anymore, if he was ever yours to start with, and you're going to have to accept that. You'll be fine with it, eventually. You knew deep down that Cappie wasn't your soul mate, if such a thing even exists, he just ended it sooner than you'd planned. But that doesn't mean you're not going to rip the hairs right out of Casey Cartwright's perfect, blonde, head the next time you see her.


	4. Casey and the Best Friends

**How a Resurrection Really Feels  
I rouse rabble  
Authors notes:** This chapter was hard to write. I originally wanted the whole thing to be Rebecca and Casey's fight, but I didn't want to accidentally steal any ideas from other fics I'd seen. So I decided to show the aftermath and give Casey some backbone. Happy reading!  
**Disclaimer:** Just read the first three chapters.

You rush into your room and slam the door and for a minute all you can do is stand there, hand still on the doorknob, and concentrate on breathing.

Ashleigh had been lying on her stomach, studying for Psychology, but she looks up from her textbook when you come in, surprised by the noise and concerned for you when she sees your expression.

"What happened? Fight with Frannie? Cappie? Rusty?"

"Worse. I just had a run-in with the Devil herself."

"Is she pissed about Cappie?" Ashleigh asked, marking her page in the book and closing it. Everyone in the Greek scene knew about Rebecca and Cappie's breakup, and though it hadn't been confirmed by anyone involved, everyone suspected that you had something to do with it. You were baffled by this until Frannie pointed out that when it comes to Cappie, it always has something to do with you. Well, sometimes it has to do with Evan, but if you bring that problem back to its original source, it has something to do with you, too.

You nod and sink onto Ashleigh's bed, lying down next to her. "I guess it is my fault, really. I mean they've been dating for what, six months now? And I did swoop in and tell him that I still love him."

She flicks you on the head, and you look at her, surprised. "Um, ow?"

"Look, you're being an idiot. And a martyr. Cappie dumped her. If he really wanted to be with her, he would have ignored your confession. He wouldn't have kissed you, and he wouldn't have dumped her."

You know it's true, but you're still pretty sure you're a, what was the phrase Becks used? Oh yeah, a "home-wrecking, succubus, bitch who only cares about herself" and you tell her so. You stand up and start to pace, wondering if you're so awful that even Rebecca Logan has your number.

"Oh, shut up. She wasn't right for him anyways. He was all weird and passive and whipped and lame around her anyway." You aren't facing Ashleigh as she says it, but you can tell she's rolling her eyes at your self-doubt, and her instant defense of you reminds you of why you love her.

You can't help but laugh a little bit at her statement. "Oh, and since when are you so knowledgeable about the inner workings of their twisted relationship?"

"The KT boys were complaining about it, and Rusty told Calvin, and Calvin told me." She doesn't add the word "duh" onto her sentence, but it's implied and you smile in spite of yourself, feeling a little better.

"Oh, but hey, you know my teal bra I couldn't find?"

Ashleigh nods, looking confused at the random change of subject, and you continue. "Rebecca mentioned it while we were arguing. I don't think she meant to say anything about it, but apparently, it's the bra I was wearing the night I, uh… ran into Cappie at the pool hall, and he had it in his closet."

She laughs at that and you laugh with her, glad she's around to make this completely sucky situation even a little bit bearable. "He kept it? Who does that?"

"I don't know. He's kind of a freak anyway, so- "

"Wait, how'd she know it was yours? Does she have a mental list of all of your underwear or something?"

You roll your eyes at her. "No, I label all my underwear with my initials."

"And he's the freak?" You resist the urge to hit her with a pillow, which, in your opinion qualifies you for the Friend of the Year Award.

"So wait, what does this mean?" Ashleigh sits up with a pillow over her crossed legs, and you can tell she's intrigued by this development.

"By keeping my bra? It's probably some weird Cappie thing that I can't even begin to understand."

Ashleigh shakes her head impatiently. "No, the break up. Your fight. I mean if she's confronting you about it, she probably has a reason to think it's you. If she just suspected it, she'd act the way she normally does around you."

"You mean, full of veiled insults and plans for my eventual annihilation?"

"Exactly. But if she just went off on you, she probably couldn't control her temper. And that could only be caused by one thing- Cappie must have broken up with her based on what happened with you two a few weeks ago, and told her about it."

"That's some impressive reasoning. If only you understood chemistry as well as you understand Rebecca's crazy ass, you'd be a doctor already."

"So," Ashleigh started, bouncing slightly on her bed, "what are you going to do about Cappie?"

It's a good question, and one you don't exactly know how to answer. "It all depends on him, I guess. Maybe he broke up with Rebecca cause she's what, weird and whipped and lame."

"You forgot passive. So you're just going to wait for Cappie?"

"The balls in his court, Ash. I was the one who told him I wanted him back, so he knows where I stand. And there's nothing more I can do without being that weird stalker girl. And I don't want to be his rebound girl from Rebecca."

Ashleigh heaves a big sigh, and you know she thinks you're being difficult on purpose. "If anything, Rebecca was the rebound girl from you. An attempt to prove that he could have a real relationship with someone while you were single, an attempt that obviously ended up failing. He loves _you_, Casey. I don't know any other way to make you believe it."

You want to believe Ashleigh, you really do. What she's saying was practical and logical, and you know that the things that had broken you and Cappie apart in the past don't matter so much anymore. He knows how to be a good boyfriend, and you know how to stand up to your ZBZ sisters, the way Ashleigh did.

"Ash, I'm sorry about Travis. If I'd been braver, or tougher, or whatever you were, maybe Cappie and I wouldn't be in such a mess right now." No matter what Cappie says, you know that dumping him for ZBZ was one of the biggest mistakes you ever made, and you wonder how you let your ambitions over take what actually mattered. Cappie deserved a million times better than the shitty hand you dealt him.

"No, Casey, you were right." Ashleigh smiles sadly at you and you know she's being sincere. "Travis was a tool and I'm better off without him. If he'd been a better guy that happened to annoy the ZBZs, you would never have agreed with them. It doesn't matter anymore. And there's a big difference between you and me and Cappie and Travis. Travis and I? We were never meant to be together. But you and Cappie, I think you are, Casey, I really do."

"I hope you're right." You look down at your hands and wish Cappie would just tell you what he's thinking. Wondering what's coming next is killing you.

"You were right about one thing, though, Case. You need to be braver. Now fix your makeup, you're going to the KT house."

You let Ashleigh get you ready to face Cappie. You know she'll make you look good, and the idea of going to see him makes you so nervous you're hands are literally shaking, making it more or less impossible for you to put the makeup on yourself.

When Ashleigh finishes, she pushes you out the door, knowing you'd never start walking if left to your own devices. The walk to the KT house seems to take seconds instead of minutes, and you wish there was a long way you could have taken, just so you'd have more time to plan what you're going to say to him. It takes you a moment to work up the nerve to knock on the door, and you're infinitely disappointed when Wade answers instead of Cappie.

"Hey… is your fearless leader here by any chance?" You offer a weak smile that Wade barely returns.

"He stepped out for a minute actually. I think he said something about wanting to clear his head or something. But come on in, I wanna talk to you."

You're a little nervous as you follow Wade into the living room, and your apprehension grows when you see that Beaver and Heath are sitting on the couch, looking none to pleased to see you. The only kind face in the room is Rusty's, but his slight wave does little to calm your nerves.

"What, exactly, are your intentions with our fine and fearless president?" Wade asks dramatically.

"Intentions? I – " You don't really know how to finish your statement and so you stop.

"Fool!" Beaver shouts, waving a hockey stick like a sword.

You resist commenting on the irony of Beaver calling _anyone_ a fool because you're pretty sure that no one in the room would appreciate it.

"Guys, settle. All we want to know is, are you talking to Cappie again to piss someone off? Rebecca? Evan again?" Heath looks at you and you sort of want to sink into the floor.

"No, it's not to piss anyone off. I feel terrible for using Cappie that way. I don't even know what I was thinking. I think I just wanted an excuse to be with him again, even if it was just for one night." Rusty nods and smiles at you, and even though you appreciate the gesture, it makes you feel as though you're on trial and Rusty's your defense lawyer. Or something.

"And if things get to hard, will you leave him again? What if it becomes more advantageous to date an Omega Chi or even a Lambda Sig?" Heath keeps looking at you, and you wish you could hide beneath the chair so you wouldn't have to meet his gaze. You wish even more that you'd never came to the house.

"Look, boys, it's sweet how much you care about Cappie, but you have to trust him. If he believes that we're ready to give it another chance, then you have to let him do that."

"It's not that we don't like you," Wade begins. "And we, more than anybody else, are happy to see Rebecca gone. She scared us. We just want Cappie to be himself again. Not whipped Cappie, not cleaning Cappie, not passed out on the couch at the strip club Cassie."

"I want that Cappie back, too. I miss him, more than any of you really know. I'm ready for Cappie this time, I promise." Defending yourself to the boys makes you surer about everything. You're finding that you actually believe what you're saying, that you're ready for another shot with Cappie. You wish more than ever that he were here so you could tell him that.

"Well, then, you better head back to the ZBZ house, 'cause that's where Cappie was headed." Rusty is grinning from ear to ear as he speaks.

You jump to your feet, screeching, "What?!"

Beaver covers his ears at your noise. "Go!"

And suddenly, you're running down the street, faster than you ever thought you could in high heels. You're just over halfway there when you see a familiar figure walking towards you. You stop to catch your breath and smooth your hair, waiting for him to meet you.

"Cappie."


	5. Cappie, Again

**How a Resurrection Really Feels  
I ****rouse rabble**  
**Author's Notes: **Chapter five is here! I'm still tossing around the idea of an epilogue, but this is probably the end of it. Thanks for all the reviews/additions to favorite lists. This chapter starts a couple minutes before the end of the last one.  
**Disclaimer:** The fic is basically over, haven't you gotten the point yet? It's not mine!

You're waiting in front of the ZBZ house when you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket. At first, you're so lost in your thoughts that you try to answer the call before you realize it's a text message from Rusty, letting you know that Casey's on her way. You get to your feet, shuffling nervously, and hear giggling behind you. You look back and see that half of Casey's Sisters are at the window, waiting to see what's going on. You realize that the porch of the ZBZ house, where a million bitchy girls can listen to your every word, is the last place you want to have this conversation. You walk down the road, hoping to meet Casey on the way.

You see her sooner than you had thought you would, because she's sprinting down the path, way faster than the last time you saw her run, when she was heading back to the ZBZ house a few weeks ago. She stops suddenly and you realize that she must have seen you, because she runs her hands through her hair nervously. You smile, glad she's as uncertain as you are, and pick up your pace a little bit to meet her.

"Cappie." She says it with a smile that doesn't quite meet her eyes, and she can't hide her nervousness. You want to give her a hug but something stops you, so you simply stand in front of her.

You clear your throat. "Hey, Case."

Neither of you say anything for a moment, but the silent isn't awkward, exactly. It's as though you both realize that you need to plan what you're going to say to each other. By some unspoken agreement, you start walking. You feel her hand graze against yours and somehow it affects you even more than your last kiss. You're not sure why, but you think it's because you were so caught up in the moment last time that you didn't care what was coming after, or what it really meant. This time, it's all you can think about.

Somehow, you get back the quad and you're right back where you were when all of this started. You think it's a cliché but you like the idea of coming full circle anyways. You both sit down on the grass and your knees brush hers and you realize how conscious you are of every casual touch.

"So… I broke up with Rebecca."

"Wow, really? I had no idea. You know, no one's been talking about it. ZBZ girls really respect each other's privacy."

You laugh a little, glad she's keeping the tone of the conversation normal, and reply in kind. "The whole Greek scene is very tight-lipped. Sometimes, I wish were just more open with our lives."

"Well, Becks was plenty open when she bitched me out earlier today."

You feel the smile drop off of your face. "She yelled at you?"

"It was no worse than the usual. Blah blah blah, I'm Satan. Par for the course really." At this she smiles and this time it does reach her eyes. You're glad she's not upset over the fight, but you still feel a little bit guilty. Her smile drops though, when she adds, "she kind of had a point, though."

You can't hold back the sigh that escapes. "I broke up with her because she wasn't right for me. You just… sped it up."

"Yeah, by kissing you even though I knew you were dating her. I'm no better than she was when she fucked Evan. Worse, even- at least she didn't Evan was dating me."

"You're wrong. Number one, she knew you were dating Evan. You were the 'Golden Couple'; I'm sure at least six people at that party referenced you two to her. Number two she had sex with him because she could, because it gave her power over him and over you. You're different from that, you didn't kiss me because you wanted to make sure you still had control over me, you did it because…" You trail off then, not wanting to finish the sentence for fear of being wrong.

"Because I miss you." She looks down as she says it, but her voice is firm and you know she means it. "I kissed you because I miss you and because I miss how I am when I'm with you. I like being a ZBZ because those girls want what I want- to be the best, to be successful in whatever we do. But sometimes, it gets too much. They're so concerned with their future."

You look up from the blade of grass you'd been running your fingers over, surprised. "I thought that's what you didn't like about me? That I didn't know where I was going?"

"I didn't want to date a guy who's only aspiration is to stay in college till he's thirty, which is kind of where I thought you were heading." She looks guilty as she says this, and you can tell she doesn't feel that way anymore. "But, with those girls, and with Evan, everything they do is all about being elected Senator or running their own Fortune 500 Company or something. I know that I want to be a lawyer, but I still want to live in the moment and it seems like they all live in the future, but I like doing things because I want to, not because it'll get me more money ten years from now. And since we broke up, I've been doing that less and less."

She looks a little lost, like a little girl who can't find her mommy in the department store, and you want to say something but she's not done talking.

"It's like, ever since I let the ZBZ girls convince me to dump you, it became my entire life. I let Frannie make me do anything just so I could be President one day. And I thought that ambition was so great, and that I did the right thing by breaking up with you because you didn't seem like you had a plan at all, but where did it lead me? You made President your junior year, and here I am, an acting president that was appointed by National. What's the point?"

"The point is, a bunch of people who actually know what they're doing, not bitter girls in Ugg boots, looked at you and realized that you have what it takes, not just to lead the sorority but to fix what Frannie broke. Frannie and the rest of them, they tried to make you into the perfect ZBZ robot, but you're so much better than that." You move to sit next to her, and you start rubbing her back consolingly without even realizing it.

You're quiet for a little while. Casey said things that you needed to hear, answering the question you'd been asking yourself for a couple of days- why did Casey suddenly want you back? But you still hadn't gotten down to the heart of the matter, and you were a little afraid to approach it.

After a while, she starts talking again, quietly, as though she doesn't really want to say it. "Cappie? Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did, sugar," you answer, grinning at her and laughing at her gentle shove. "Go ahead."

"You know how I feel about you, and that I want to get back together, but the only thing I know about your feelings is that you dumped Rebecca, which might not have had anything to do with me at all."

You take a second to plan out your answer, ignoring the fact that she didn't ask you a question at all. "Losing you was hard, Casey. Harder than losing Evan, and he's been my friend since we were twelve. I really changed since we broke up, for the better I think, and it's all thanks to you." A smile crosses her face, and you hate to keep talking because you don't want it to go away. "But, I'm not going to lie to you, Case. I'm afraid to do that again. Breaking up with Rebecca wasn't so bad because I knew it was for the best, and because what I felt for her doesn't hold a candle to what I felt for you when we broke up. I'm afraid to go through that again."

"But we're ready this time, I know we are!" She wasn't yelling, exactly, certainly not like when Rebecca yelled at you after you dumped her, but her frustration made her louder.

"So, let's find out. We'll take it slow." You hold out a hand, sure this will appease her. It worked in a million movies, at any rate. "I'm Cappie, and you are?"

She jumps to her feet and starts walking away. You think about yelling after her, but you decide against it, worried that it just might make her angrier. You lie on your back and watch the clouds float across the sky and think that you might just have made the biggest mistake of your life.

A shadow crosses over you and you sit up, squinting against the sunlight. "Casey."

"I'm not going to take it slow. That's ridiculous, Cappie. We're so much better than we were before, both of us." She kneels down next to you. "We've wasted so much time already." And before you can say anything, or even think anything, she grabs the front of your shirt and pulls you closer, kissing you like you'd never been kissed before. When you think you can't breath anymore, you pull back. "Fine with me." And she's on you again, practically before you finish getting the words out.

A little while later, you're lying down and she's in your arms and the sky is purple as the sun goes down and you think that this is the happiest you've been in a long while. Years, really. She starts to laugh a little bit, and you look down, confused.

"You kept my bra? What kind of pervert are you?" And then you're laughing too.


	6. Casey, Again

**How a Resurrection Really Feels****I rouse rabble  
Disclaimer: **Not mine! It's much like another disclaimer I once read: if this were mine, Cappie'd be shirtless a lot more. And not with Rebecca.**  
Author's Notes:** This is the epilogue. It's a bit lighter than the other chapters I think, especially the end, but I figured that all the drama was out of the way so I might as well go for it. I was originally going to have the epilogue be a few weeks after the last chapter, but it was hard to write. So, then I decided to have it be that same night that they got together at the bar, but doing that didn't allow me to show the stability of their relationship at all. I finally settled on putting it at the end of Casey and Cappie's senior year, since it made more sense to show that their new relationship was a permanent thing. Enjoy!

Oh, and how exciting was it for me last night when Rebecca a) called him out for not sticking up for her over Casey (I don't even like them together and I loved it. I'd been wondering about it, since I'd be pretty annoyed if I were her) and b) asked him whom he'd save if he could only save one of them. Plus his non answer and fairly abrupt change of subject was pretty telling. Way to read my fic, Greek writers. Just kidding. But it was exciting for me nonetheless.

* * *

It's one year and three weeks exactly from the night you ran into Cappie and everything changed, and you're helping him pack up his belongings. He'd finally selected a major, English, and is heading to grad school in Chicago to avoid entering the real world for a few more years. You'd already sent your things back to your parent's house, where you're going to stay until you find an apartment close enough to your classes. You still can't believe you're actually going to law school but you know you deserve it after all of the work you put into getting there.

You sit on the bed and get started folding Cappie's endless collection of t-shirts with ironic phrases and band names on them. It frankly stuns you that he could have so many, considering you stole more than a few of them to sleep in. You're glad though, because folding shirts gives your hands something to do while your mind wanders. It stuns you to believe that college is actually over, that you'll never have this experience again. You know you'll miss the total freedom, the fact that all of your friends were, at most, a ten minute walk away, and you're really miss being with Cappie whenever you wanted. Chicago's close by, but you live in the suburbs and it's still a fifteen-minute drive to Cappie's apartment from your house.

And that's not even the whole reason you're feeling down. Leaving college is like the end of an era, and you're not sure you're ready for the next part of your life. Everything major, good and bad, that's happened to you in the last four years, has happened on campus. It's where you first fell in love, where you lost your virginity, where you had your first real heartbreak, where you met your best friend, where you got close to your brother for the first time ever, where you first learned your grandmother was sick, and where you met Cappie. He was tangled up somewhere in all of your experiences at CRU. You can't help but think, however irrationally, that your relationship won't be able to sustain itself when you leave.

You think Cappie must sense that you're feeling down, because he's uncharacteristically quiet as he shoves socks and underwear into a suitcase. He looks like he wants to say something, but he's interrupted by a knock on the door, accompanied by a call of, "You both decent?" Cappie chuckles to himself and opens the door. It's Beaver, dressed in shorts and a t-shirt with a duffle bag thrown over his shoulder.

"You leaving?"

"Yeah, the car's all packed up. I gotta head out, I have a long drive ahead of me." Beaver's still standing in the doorway as he says this, and Cappie walks over to him.

Beaver extends a hand, but Cappie ignores it, opting to give him a bear hug instead. "Call me when you get to Philly, alright?" Beaver nods and an awkward silence falls between them.

You walk over, giving Beaver a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "You'll have to come out to Chicago soon," you say in as cheery a voice as you can muster and he agrees. After that, there's not much more to stay and he heads down the stairs. You can see Cappie try to hide his wince as the door slams and you reach out to him. "I know," you say, stepping into his embrace. Saying goodbye to friends was the hardest part of all. Last night, Ashleigh boarded her flight to L.A., and the thought of deciding what to wear without her on a Friday night makes your stomach clench a little bit.

A few minutes later, Cappie shakes his head, clears his throat, smiles, and he's back to normal. You'd barely resumed your packing when you hear another knock at the door.

"Just a minute," Cappie says in a high, falsetto tone. Then, in his normal tone: "Casey, hurry up and put your shirt on!"

You're laughing as you open the door but the smile drops off of your face as soon as you see who's on the other side. "Hi, Rebecca."

"Jennifer sent me over here, she needs the key to the president's bedroom." She doesn't bother to hide her hatred of you as she speaks, and you fish around in your pocket for the key, eager to have her leave as soon as possible.

"Here you go, bye now!" You move to close the door on her, but she stops you from shutting it and steps into the room.

"I also wanted to say goodbye to Cappie." She walks over to him and hugs him far too tightly and whispers something you can't hear. Finally, she moves to leave. She's almost at the door when she turns and says, "Oh, if you find a nurse costume, let me know. I never could find it after that night we broke the bed." With that final dig, she heads out, slamming the door behind her.

"So, that was interesting," Cappie declares awkwardly.

You shrug. "I've been hearing those digs for over a year now. I'm just glad that was the last one."

You get back to work. You'd finally finished with the t-shirts and were just getting ready to take the sheets off the bed when you head someone knock on the door for the third time. "Must be another adoring fan," Cappie says, grinning.

However, the voice on the other side calls out, "It's Evan."

You giggle. "So, the opposite of one, then." You open the door and Evan steps inside.

"I went by the ZBZ house, but they told me you were here," he explains, his hands shoved in his pockets. "I just wanted to say goodbye."

"Aw, how sweet! Evangelical, you are just too cute!" Cappie says, placing his hand over his heart. You notice he'd moved beside you and put his arm around your waist possessively, but since you'd entertained thoughts of scratching Becca's eyes out when she was hugging Cappie, you figure it it's fair.

You step out of Cappie's arms and give Evan a brief hug. "Good luck in Boston. Keep in touch, okay?"

"Good luck in law school, Case." And you pull away from him.

He shakes Cappie's hand, and you're impressed that they managed to have a civil goodbye. But then again, they'd toned down their hatred of each other in the past year, sometime after Evan realized you were a lost cause and hooked up with Frannie. Still, as soon as Evan's heading down the stairs and well within earshot, Cappie yells, "Casey, you're a wild woman!" You roll your eyes. Cappie's (sorta) an adult now, but he still couldn't stop himself from playing that game with Evan.

With the interruptions finally over, you finish packing up most of the room. The only thing left is the closet, which you attack together. He's throwing his ridiculous costumes in a box while you see something familiar on a shelf somewhere in the back.

Holding your bra up, you say, "You know, you never told me why you kept this."

"After you left that morning, I saw you forgot it. I didn't want to get rid of it, 'cause I figured it was the closest I'd have to actually having you, but I didn't want to look at it all the time either. So I threw it in there." He says it matter-of-factly, still concentrating on the task at hand, and you're glad that you'd moved past all the hurt and fights and problems that plagued you guys before. "You can have it back if you want though."

"It's uh… a little dusty, Cappie. I don't think I'll be keeping it." A little dusty was an understatement. It'd been living in the back of his closet for over a year and it was more gray than teal. You throw it away.

"Fair enough. I got the real deal back anyway," he says, grinning at you. "Speaking of which, I have a surprise for you!" He runs down stairs, and you toss the rest of the closet's contents into a box. You'd just finished taping it shut when he comes back upstairs, holding a pie.

He's brandishing a fork and it looks a little different than usual. When he hands it to you, you see why, and nearly drop it in surprise. Taped to the handle is a small, shiny key.

"What's this?"

"This is a key to my place. Only, I was thinking it could be our place. If you wanted, I mean…"

You're still looking down at it in shock. "You want to move in together?"

"If you want to. I mean you can keep the key either way, but I was thinking it'd be easier if we lived together."

"Are you kidding? I'd love to. I'll sign the lease right now!"

He pulls a folded piece of paper from his back pocket. "It's three years, Case. You sure you don't want to think about this?"

This was the first real commitment either of you were making. Well, you'd each said, "I love you", but this was first time you were acting on your vows to make this relationship last. You'd have to live together for three years. You weren't just saying that you'd be together; you were signing your name to something. It was a pretty big deal, but you found you didn't have to think on it at all. You picture living with him, cleaning the living room and fixing pipes and going grocery shopping together and all the rest of the boring couple stuff you'd do together, and you realize that you know, deep down, that you and Cappie will stay together, that you're so much better together than apart, and that all of your earlier fears were totally unjustified. Without another word, you grab the lease and sign and initial it with flourish.

A gigantic, breathtaking smile replaces the nervous look and his face and for a minute all either of you can do is grin stupidly. Then, at the same instant, you both launch at each other, falling onto his bare mattress. You're so caught up in each other that you don't hear the fourth knock on the door, or the sound of it opening. It isn't until you hear a shocked gasp that you look up and see your parents. Cappie jumps off you, moving faster than you'd ever seen, scrambling to put his shirt back on.

You quickly stand, buttoning your own shirt back up and adjusting your skirt.

"Mom! Dad! Rusty! Hi! Guess what?"

* * *

**Closing Author's Notes:** Well, it's finally done. This is my first completed fic since I was 13 (and that was a truly terrible Harry Potter fic on a different username that I've long since deleted), and I'm pretty proud of it. I originally thought of having Cappie propose, but I decided that was really ridiculous since they're only 22. I figure this is better, since it involves commitment but is more in character.

Anyway, thank you guys so much for your reviews/favorites/author alerts, it really means a lot to me.

Oh, and one final thing. I'm thinking about a sequel, maybe a proposal fic? Let me know what you guys think. And be honest. I'd prefer you telling me that a sequel's a dumb idea than me writing it and it being super lame.


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